August 16, 2006
Back To School Newsletter
Hello Parents, Nannies, Teachers, Childcare Givers and Friends,
It has been quite a while since we wrote our last newsletter. We have both been very busy over the past six months and can’t believe that September is just around the corner. We hope everyone has had a wonderful summer and managed to survive the heat!
Here’s a quick update of our spring and summer of 2006, we have been very busy working with families through our consultancy service and we have held many great workshops for New York preschools and parenting groups.
In May, we spent a few days in New Orleans for the International Nanny Conference, all the workshops and events were very interesting and informative and we had the opportunity to present our very own workshop on “The Nanny Wisdom Checklist That Every Nanny Needs to Know”. We met some wonderful nannies, industry people and agency owners during our visit. It was our first time to New Orleans, (we both loved it) we were both very grateful to be there and support the city, especially after what the people and the City of New Orleans have been through over the past year.
We are delighted to announce the release of Nanny Wisdom in the United Kingdom and Australia. Justine spent some time in the UK working on a radio campaign with Lloyds TSB Insurance. The main topics for the interviews were: “How do we keep our children occupied and amused during the summer break?” How do parents make sure their children do not wreck the home?” This was a fun session where Justine got to talk to sixteen different radio stations all over the United Kingdom about her favorite summer activities and give tips to parents on how to keep children out of trouble during the long summer break. Kim flew off to Australia recently for an interview with Channel Seven’s Morning show and Sydney’s popular radio station 2GB. Exciting stuff for Nanny Wisdom!
Just to let you all know what we are going to be up to in the next coming months. On September 29th and 30th we will be holding a Question and Answer session for parents, nannies, teachers, grandparents at the Ann Arbor Women’s Expo in Michigan, this sounds like a great event. And we are sure that some of the nannies out there have heard of Nannypalooza, we will be holding a workshop on October 8th in Philadelphia from 10-11am. If you live in the area of Ann Arbor, Michigan or Philadelphia we would love to meet you. There are a few more events coming up, we will keep you posted once they are confirmed.
Back To School
It’s the middle of August and parents in the Northern Hemisphere are talking about getting ready for the start of the new school year. Many schools have already opened and others start in just a few weeks. Being prepared for the start of the new school year really does make all the difference, whether it’s getting all your back to school shopping done, organizing transportation to and from school, or preparing children for their new school routines, there is always lots to do at this time of year. In this newsletter we will share some of our “Back to School” Secrets. We are going to include some of the most common questions we get from parents and nannies about school. (Also, be sure to check out the school chapter in Nanny Wisdom for other tips and lunchbox ideas)
Nanny Wisdom
Anxious Children
Our number 1 tip for families with children that may be anxious about starting nursery, preschool, kindergarten, grade school, middle school and even high school or secondary school is to slowly ease children into the new school year and take one day at a time. Our rule of thumb is to wait at least 8 weeks for a child to settle in to school life. Eight weeks may feel like a long time but it can take some children this long before they feel at ease about going to school and feel confident about making new friends.
Back to School Questions and Answers
Question: My son is starting school for the first time in September, what can I do to prepare him?
Answer: There are a number of things you can do to prepare your child for his school start. First of all, you will need to make sure that he is well equipped with the skills he needs to make the transition easier. Make sure that he is comfortable being away from you for certain periods of time, a child who has never left his mother or father’s side will have a difficult time when he starts school. Give him opportunities to develop his social skills by organizing play times with other children. Foster your son’s independent skills and make sure he can put on and take off his own shoes, put his toys away and can follow simple instructions. Speak to your son about school in a positive way, read him books about starting school and talk to him about what he can expect in his day so it doesn’t seem so mysterious and scary when the first day of school arrives.
Question: Are there any tips you can give me to help my child succeed in school?
Answer: In all our years working as nannies we have found there are two secrets to school success, both are very simple and often overlooked. Make sure your child is well rested so she can deal with the challenges of her day, and make sure she starts the school day with a balanced and nutritious breakfast. Children who go to school tired and without a good breakfast have a really hard time concentrating and dealing with their peers. When you have these two simple things in place you will see your child thrive at school.
Question: My 9yr old daughter says she “hates” school, what can I do to help her enjoy it?
Answer: Many children go through a phase of saying they “hate” school. For some children this is just something they say when they really mean “I would rather be playing than doing school work”. However, for some children school can be something they really dread. We suggest that you find out if your daughter seriously does not like school and if so, why she doesn’t like it. It may be that she is being picked on by other children, or she is struggling with school work. Once you know what is causing her to feel anxious you can begin to work on improving the situation. We have known children who have “hated” school start to enjoy it much once they were having regular tutoring to improve their reading or maths skills, or once they made more friends at school by joining a sports class or by confronting and resolving issues with a bully.
Question: There was a mean girl in my 11yr old daughter’s class last year, the fighting, bickering and “ganging-up” was terrible. All summer long I have been dreading the new school year. What should I do?
Answer: It is very common for girls of this age to bicker and fight amongst themselves; fortunately these fights are usually short lived. Girls of this age can be very fickle and the enemy they had last year may well turn out to be your daughter’s best friend in the future. If the arguments do flair up again this year, we advise having a very calm chat with your daughter and suggest strategies that might be helpful for her to put into practice. Strategies such as; trying to ignore the girl until the problem blows over, encouraging her to spend time with other children, or teaching her not to choose sides when different groups of girls pick on each other. We always tell a child who is being picked on that if someone is being mean to them it is usually because that person does not feel happy in themselves and wants to make someone else unhappy as well. We have found this advice helps a child by giving them a different perspective and also lets them know that there is no truth in whatever name they have been called.
Question: Bedtimes throughout the summer have been late, how do I get the children to adjust back to the school schedule?
Answer: Start adjusting bedtimes about 10-12 days before the school term starts, slowly begin to move the children’s bedtimes earlier by 10-20 min each day until the children are going to sleep at an age appropriate bedtime. Make sure you keep the time between dinner and bedtime calm so the children will be ready for sleep at bedtime. If the children announce they are not tired, it is perfectly fine to let them read or look at books for ten minutes once they are in bed and after ten minutes turn the lights out.
We prepare children for the new school term by getting the children up earlier in the morning so their body-clocks will be adjusted to waking up early again. At the same time we get the children back into the habit of eating an early breakfast each morning. We also like to create a ‘back to school’ ritual before the beginning of each new school year; this yearly ritual really gets children excited for school. The ‘back to school’ ritual can be anything from shopping for school supplies together, or choosing new shoes or hair clips. The night before school starts we like to have a special family dinner and ask the children what they would like to achieve this school year. Maybe they would like to make a new friend, learn to play netball or rugby, or try to do well in a subject they struggled with the previous year. Teaching children to practice setting goals for themselves is a valuable life skill for them to learn.
Question: My youngest child is starting school this year, I will have all three of my children in school; any tips for making school mornings less chaotic?
Answer: Getting three school age children ready and out the door on time everyday doesn’t have to be a chaotic rush once you use our nanny wisdom tips. The key to a pleasant and calm morning is determined by what preparations are done the night before and teaching your children independent skills. We suggest packing school bags, laying out school clothes and setting the table for breakfast each night. Also, teaching children skills like getting dressed, brushing their own teeth and giving them practice in listening and following instructions. On school mornings we recommend everyone gets up early so there is plenty of time to get ready and have breakfast without a huge rush. We always have a firm “No TV on school mornings” rule because TV distracts children when you need them to be co-operative and be focused on getting ready for school each morning.
Question: My 10 year old son always fights with me when it is time to do homework. I know the homework will only increase this year, how can I get him to do his homework?
Answer: Begin by thinking of this year as a fresh start for both of you in regards to this homework battle. The key to turning this battle around is to make your son responsible for doing his homework and to motivate him to want to do it. We suggest using an incentive technique; when one week of completed homework is achieved your son will be able to win a small reward, make the reward something he will value and treasure and strive towards earning. As time goes by, slowly increase the time frame for the incentive technique to 2 weeks, then a month and so on. If this technique is not having the desired effect, then you can look at taking away privileges, try removing TV and computer time. Be sure to follow your plan consistently, otherwise there will be no success. There are other things to consider; why does your son not want to do his homework? Is he distracted by the television? If so, introduce a “No TV in the school week” policy. Is your son having a nutritious snack after school and before he starts his homework?
Perhaps you son is struggling with his daily school work. Your son may need some extra help in certain areas and particular subjects, be sure to discuss the situation with his teachers and then move forward with a plan. Another thing you can do is have a calm chat with your son before the school year starts, tell him that you don’t want homework to be a battle this year and that you feel positive about him being able to get his homework done this coming year. Explain the reward technique you will be using and try to remove the battles and emotional reactions from this homework battle. You don’t want this to be an area your child feels he needs to fight you about just to assert his independence. If this situation is treated carefully, the homework battle should soon improve.
Question: My 7yr old son doesn’t appear to be interested in any sports classes and is a little shy. How can I encourage him to try sports? When I was young I played many sports, I would love my son to follow the same path.
Answer: I wouldn’t worry too much, young children constantly change their likes and dislikes; one month they are obsessed with computer games, the next month it may be karate or football. However, it’s a great idea to let your son try many different types of classes to encourage him to make friends and also see what activities he likes the most. Encourage him to try karate, tennis, football, art, music and swimming. Keep in mind that it is important to accept your child for who he is, he may not be sporty like you were as a child, and if he enjoys art more than sports try and embrace this by encouraging his desire to draw and paint. All children are different and special in their own way.
Question: My 5yr son is friends with a very rude and ill-mannered boy who shouts, whines, hits and uses bad language. My son sometimes copies the same behavior from this boy and I have just found out they will be spending even more time together this school year as they will be in the same class. Please Help!
Answer: You truly are in a challenging situation, let’s face it, there are going to be situations now and in the future where you may not approve of your children’s friends, so it is key you handle these situations in a balanced and calm way. We suggest you limit the amount of time your son spends with this child outside of school and discourage them from attending the same after school classes. Have a chat with your son about his friend’s behavior and make it clear to him that this rude behavior is not acceptable in your family, ever. If you do have this child over to play be sure to tell him he must follow your house rules, if he is rude tell him that he will not be allowed to come over again to play.
Question: My 10yr old son wants to ride his bike to school this year, I am terrified that he may have an accident, or be snatched. My husband tells we need to let him grow up a bit.
Answer: It is terrifying when children first want to step outside of their parent’s protection, and ten year olds often long for some kind of independence. It is very important to give children safe opportunities to gain independence and responsibility; this is how children gain confidence, self esteem and life skills. First of all, we recommend that you tell your son he is not allowed to cycle to school until he takes his cycling proficiency test at eleven. Your son will accept this rule and will have to wait until his eleventh birthday. As with all children, it is imperative that they are taught safety. Children do not have a built in ability to judge what is right or wrong and what is safe and unsafe. Whether your child is surfing the internet or cycling home from school, he needs to be aware of his environment and be prepared for the world. Once your son has taken his cycling proficiency test, let him cycle to school with a friend, or follow him on his bike until you feel comfortable that he is a competent cyclist and is ready to travel to school by himself.
Please feel free to forward this newsletter on to other parents, friends and nannies and enjoy the rest of the summer.
With our best wishes,
Nanny Justine and Nanny Kim
www.nanny-wisdom.com
Disclaimer: All advice on nanny-wisdom.com nannies is not intended to replace medical advice, if you are concerned about your child's health or well-being please consult your pediatrician.
Posted by Justine Walsh on August 16, 2006. Send to a friend.
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