http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/ Secrets for raising healthy, happy children from newborns to preschoolers. By Justine Walsh and Kim Nicholson. en Copyright 2007 Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:29:31 -0500 http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/ http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss 1. Be Aware of Quick Fixes Be aware of fast forming sleep associations. Do not rely on rocking your child, driving around the block, walking in stroller/pushchair or feeding to get your baby/child to go to sleep. Sleep associations/habits can become fixed as young as 6-8 weeks of age. 2. Independent Sleep Skills Teach your child to fall asleep independently, it is a skill she will learn and keep for the rest of her life. Put your child to sleep awake or drowsy. Play soft music to create a pleasant bedtime environment. Give a child 1 year or older a special blanket/teddy bear to cuddle. 3. Calm Bedtime Routine Calm bedtime routines are essential for getting a child to go to sleep. No crazy running around and hyping the children up before bed. This applies to all ages. 4. Consistent Routines and Early Bedtimes are Essential An overtired baby/child will fight sleep. Make sure your child has an age appropriate routine and schedule including an early bedtime. 5. Change is Possible Making changes to sleep habits and routines takes time and commitment. A minimum of 14 days and maximum of 21 days is a realistic amount of time to change sleep habits. For more information, please consult Nanny Wisdom - Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children ]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_questions_and_answers/top_five_tips_for_sleep.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_questions_and_answers/top_five_tips_for_sleep.php Nanny Wisdom Questions and Answers Mon, 03 Dec 2007 13:29:31 -0500 Download file ]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/irish_times_interview_2007.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/irish_times_interview_2007.php Media Mon, 03 Dec 2007 12:16:52 -0500 A CLASS OF THEIR OWN As a new school year looms, Catherine O'Brien advises that a firm routine can give children a head start, while Michele Kirsch smooths the move to ‘big school’. Last Thursday, distracted by a mound of paperwork, I left the children to their own devices. They did what you might expect any boys of 10 and 13 to do — slobbed around the TV and PlayStation and snacked on Rich Tea biscuits. It was only at 4pm, when they finally roused themselves to kick a football in the garden, that I realised they were still in their pyjamas. Oh, the bliss of summer holidays! Like every household with school-age children, ours has, over the past six weeks, wound down to a state of sublime idleness. No homework or music practice, no flitting from tennis to swimming, no lunchboxes to prepare and mud-encrusted sports kit to wash. Mothers, in my experience, fall into one of two camps — those who can’t wait to shove their children back through the school gates, and those who wish the holidays could be stretched into late September. When my own children were at the demanding, bickering, energy-sapping stage, obviously I was among the former. Now that they can make their own toast while I read the papers in bed, well, why would I be in a hurry to restore the tyranny of the school run? Read the article in full > click here.]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_in_the_times_uk.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_in_the_times_uk.php Media Tue, 29 Aug 2006 05:19:24 -0500 Hello Parents, Nannies, Teachers, Childcare Givers and Friends, It has been quite a while since we wrote our last newsletter. We have both been very busy over the past six months and can’t believe that September is just around the corner. We hope everyone has had a wonderful summer and managed to survive the heat! Here’s a quick update of our spring and summer of 2006, we have been very busy working with families through our consultancy service and we have held many great workshops for New York preschools and parenting groups. In May, we spent a few days in New Orleans for the International Nanny Conference, all the workshops and events were very interesting and informative and we had the opportunity to present our very own workshop on “The Nanny Wisdom Checklist That Every Nanny Needs to Know”. We met some wonderful nannies, industry people and agency owners during our visit. It was our first time to New Orleans, (we both loved it) we were both very grateful to be there and support the city, especially after what the people and the City of New Orleans have been through over the past year. We are delighted to announce the release of Nanny Wisdom in the United Kingdom and Australia. Justine spent some time in the UK working on a radio campaign with Lloyds TSB Insurance. The main topics for the interviews were: “How do we keep our children occupied and amused during the summer break?” How do parents make sure their children do not wreck the home?” This was a fun session where Justine got to talk to sixteen different radio stations all over the United Kingdom about her favorite summer activities and give tips to parents on how to keep children out of trouble during the long summer break. Kim flew off to Australia recently for an interview with Channel Seven’s Morning show and Sydney’s popular radio station 2GB. Exciting stuff for Nanny Wisdom! Just to let you all know what we are going to be up to in the next coming months. On September 29th and 30th we will be holding a Question and Answer session for parents, nannies, teachers, grandparents at the Ann Arbor Women’s Expo in Michigan, this sounds like a great event. And we are sure that some of the nannies out there have heard of Nannypalooza, we will be holding a workshop on October 8th in Philadelphia from 10-11am. If you live in the area of Ann Arbor, Michigan or Philadelphia we would love to meet you. There are a few more events coming up, we will keep you posted once they are confirmed. Back To School It’s the middle of August and parents in the Northern Hemisphere are talking about getting ready for the start of the new school year. Many schools have already opened and others start in just a few weeks. Being prepared for the start of the new school year really does make all the difference, whether it’s getting all your back to school shopping done, organizing transportation to and from school, or preparing children for their new school routines, there is always lots to do at this time of year. In this newsletter we will share some of our “Back to School” Secrets. We are going to include some of the most common questions we get from parents and nannies about school. (Also, be sure to check out the school chapter in Nanny Wisdom for other tips and lunchbox ideas) Nanny Wisdom Anxious Children Our number 1 tip for families with children that may be anxious about starting nursery, preschool, kindergarten, grade school, middle school and even high school or secondary school is to slowly ease children into the new school year and take one day at a time. Our rule of thumb is to wait at least 8 weeks for a child to settle in to school life. Eight weeks may feel like a long time but it can take some children this long before they feel at ease about going to school and feel confident about making new friends. Back to School Questions and Answers Question: My son is starting school for the first time in September, what can I do to prepare him? Answer: There are a number of things you can do to prepare your child for his school start. First of all, you will need to make sure that he is well equipped with the skills he needs to make the transition easier. Make sure that he is comfortable being away from you for certain periods of time, a child who has never left his mother or father’s side will have a difficult time when he starts school. Give him opportunities to develop his social skills by organizing play times with other children. Foster your son’s independent skills and make sure he can put on and take off his own shoes, put his toys away and can follow simple instructions. Speak to your son about school in a positive way, read him books about starting school and talk to him about what he can expect in his day so it doesn’t seem so mysterious and scary when the first day of school arrives. Question: Are there any tips you can give me to help my child succeed in school? Answer: In all our years working as nannies we have found there are two secrets to school success, both are very simple and often overlooked. Make sure your child is well rested so she can deal with the challenges of her day, and make sure she starts the school day with a balanced and nutritious breakfast. Children who go to school tired and without a good breakfast have a really hard time concentrating and dealing with their peers. When you have these two simple things in place you will see your child thrive at school. Question: My 9yr old daughter says she “hates” school, what can I do to help her enjoy it? Answer: Many children go through a phase of saying they “hate” school. For some children this is just something they say when they really mean “I would rather be playing than doing school work”. However, for some children school can be something they really dread. We suggest that you find out if your daughter seriously does not like school and if so, why she doesn’t like it. It may be that she is being picked on by other children, or she is struggling with school work. Once you know what is causing her to feel anxious you can begin to work on improving the situation. We have known children who have “hated” school start to enjoy it much once they were having regular tutoring to improve their reading or maths skills, or once they made more friends at school by joining a sports class or by confronting and resolving issues with a bully. Question: There was a mean girl in my 11yr old daughter’s class last year, the fighting, bickering and “ganging-up” was terrible. All summer long I have been dreading the new school year. What should I do? Answer: It is very common for girls of this age to bicker and fight amongst themselves; fortunately these fights are usually short lived. Girls of this age can be very fickle and the enemy they had last year may well turn out to be your daughter’s best friend in the future. If the arguments do flair up again this year, we advise having a very calm chat with your daughter and suggest strategies that might be helpful for her to put into practice. Strategies such as; trying to ignore the girl until the problem blows over, encouraging her to spend time with other children, or teaching her not to choose sides when different groups of girls pick on each other. We always tell a child who is being picked on that if someone is being mean to them it is usually because that person does not feel happy in themselves and wants to make someone else unhappy as well. We have found this advice helps a child by giving them a different perspective and also lets them know that there is no truth in whatever name they have been called. Question: Bedtimes throughout the summer have been late, how do I get the children to adjust back to the school schedule? Answer: Start adjusting bedtimes about 10-12 days before the school term starts, slowly begin to move the children’s bedtimes earlier by 10-20 min each day until the children are going to sleep at an age appropriate bedtime. Make sure you keep the time between dinner and bedtime calm so the children will be ready for sleep at bedtime. If the children announce they are not tired, it is perfectly fine to let them read or look at books for ten minutes once they are in bed and after ten minutes turn the lights out. We prepare children for the new school term by getting the children up earlier in the morning so their body-clocks will be adjusted to waking up early again. At the same time we get the children back into the habit of eating an early breakfast each morning. We also like to create a ‘back to school’ ritual before the beginning of each new school year; this yearly ritual really gets children excited for school. The ‘back to school’ ritual can be anything from shopping for school supplies together, or choosing new shoes or hair clips. The night before school starts we like to have a special family dinner and ask the children what they would like to achieve this school year. Maybe they would like to make a new friend, learn to play netball or rugby, or try to do well in a subject they struggled with the previous year. Teaching children to practice setting goals for themselves is a valuable life skill for them to learn. Question: My youngest child is starting school this year, I will have all three of my children in school; any tips for making school mornings less chaotic? Answer: Getting three school age children ready and out the door on time everyday doesn’t have to be a chaotic rush once you use our nanny wisdom tips. The key to a pleasant and calm morning is determined by what preparations are done the night before and teaching your children independent skills. We suggest packing school bags, laying out school clothes and setting the table for breakfast each night. Also, teaching children skills like getting dressed, brushing their own teeth and giving them practice in listening and following instructions. On school mornings we recommend everyone gets up early so there is plenty of time to get ready and have breakfast without a huge rush. We always have a firm “No TV on school mornings” rule because TV distracts children when you need them to be co-operative and be focused on getting ready for school each morning. Question: My 10 year old son always fights with me when it is time to do homework. I know the homework will only increase this year, how can I get him to do his homework? Answer: Begin by thinking of this year as a fresh start for both of you in regards to this homework battle. The key to turning this battle around is to make your son responsible for doing his homework and to motivate him to want to do it. We suggest using an incentive technique; when one week of completed homework is achieved your son will be able to win a small reward, make the reward something he will value and treasure and strive towards earning. As time goes by, slowly increase the time frame for the incentive technique to 2 weeks, then a month and so on. If this technique is not having the desired effect, then you can look at taking away privileges, try removing TV and computer time. Be sure to follow your plan consistently, otherwise there will be no success. There are other things to consider; why does your son not want to do his homework? Is he distracted by the television? If so, introduce a “No TV in the school week” policy. Is your son having a nutritious snack after school and before he starts his homework? Perhaps you son is struggling with his daily school work. Your son may need some extra help in certain areas and particular subjects, be sure to discuss the situation with his teachers and then move forward with a plan. Another thing you can do is have a calm chat with your son before the school year starts, tell him that you don’t want homework to be a battle this year and that you feel positive about him being able to get his homework done this coming year. Explain the reward technique you will be using and try to remove the battles and emotional reactions from this homework battle. You don’t want this to be an area your child feels he needs to fight you about just to assert his independence. If this situation is treated carefully, the homework battle should soon improve. Question: My 7yr old son doesn’t appear to be interested in any sports classes and is a little shy. How can I encourage him to try sports? When I was young I played many sports, I would love my son to follow the same path. Answer: I wouldn’t worry too much, young children constantly change their likes and dislikes; one month they are obsessed with computer games, the next month it may be karate or football. However, it’s a great idea to let your son try many different types of classes to encourage him to make friends and also see what activities he likes the most. Encourage him to try karate, tennis, football, art, music and swimming. Keep in mind that it is important to accept your child for who he is, he may not be sporty like you were as a child, and if he enjoys art more than sports try and embrace this by encouraging his desire to draw and paint. All children are different and special in their own way. Question: My 5yr son is friends with a very rude and ill-mannered boy who shouts, whines, hits and uses bad language. My son sometimes copies the same behavior from this boy and I have just found out they will be spending even more time together this school year as they will be in the same class. Please Help! Answer: You truly are in a challenging situation, let’s face it, there are going to be situations now and in the future where you may not approve of your children’s friends, so it is key you handle these situations in a balanced and calm way. We suggest you limit the amount of time your son spends with this child outside of school and discourage them from attending the same after school classes. Have a chat with your son about his friend’s behavior and make it clear to him that this rude behavior is not acceptable in your family, ever. If you do have this child over to play be sure to tell him he must follow your house rules, if he is rude tell him that he will not be allowed to come over again to play. Question: My 10yr old son wants to ride his bike to school this year, I am terrified that he may have an accident, or be snatched. My husband tells we need to let him grow up a bit. Answer: It is terrifying when children first want to step outside of their parent’s protection, and ten year olds often long for some kind of independence. It is very important to give children safe opportunities to gain independence and responsibility; this is how children gain confidence, self esteem and life skills. First of all, we recommend that you tell your son he is not allowed to cycle to school until he takes his cycling proficiency test at eleven. Your son will accept this rule and will have to wait until his eleventh birthday. As with all children, it is imperative that they are taught safety. Children do not have a built in ability to judge what is right or wrong and what is safe and unsafe. Whether your child is surfing the internet or cycling home from school, he needs to be aware of his environment and be prepared for the world. Once your son has taken his cycling proficiency test, let him cycle to school with a friend, or follow him on his bike until you feel comfortable that he is a competent cyclist and is ready to travel to school by himself. Please feel free to forward this newsletter on to other parents, friends and nannies and enjoy the rest of the summer. With our best wishes, Nanny Justine and Nanny Kim www.nanny-wisdom.com Disclaimer: All advice on nanny-wisdom.com nannies is not intended to replace medical advice, if you are concerned about your child's health or well-being please consult your pediatrician. http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_newsletter/back_to_school_newsletter.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_newsletter/back_to_school_newsletter.php Nanny Wisdom Newsletter Wed, 16 Aug 2006 20:27:04 -0500 Fox News - February 2006 - The Housecall (Segment 1) View: Large | Medium | Small - The Housecall (Segment 2) View: Large | Medium | Small Seattle NorthWest Afternoon - September 2005 View: Large | Medium | Small ]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_on_television.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_on_television.php Media Tue, 06 Jun 2006 01:52:34 -0500 Traditional childcare skills are in fashion in the US, discovers Siobhan Mulholland. As featured in The Daily Telegraph (UK). Link. 'She breezed in, full of confidence, clarity and fun, with that distinct English accent - Mary Poppins come to life, in our living room." That was how the Hollywood actor Richard Gere remembers the moment his former English nanny, Justine Walsh, arrived to look after his children. Hands on: Kim Nicholson, left, and Justine Walsh are stars in America, where they trade on their Mary Poppins approach to childcare. Photo Credit: Darrick Harris]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/english_nannies_know_best.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/english_nannies_know_best.php Media Fri, 28 Apr 2006 22:53:30 -0500 Kim and Justine both have 'Ask the Nannies' radio segments. Nanny Kim is "Nanny 95" every Monday morning from 8:35 -8:45am Central Time and from 9:35am - 9:45am EST on KS 95 in Minneapolis, MN. www.ks95.com Click here to listen to Nanny Kim (mp3) Nanny Justine is "Nanny 95" every Monday morning from 7:30am - 8:00am EST on Sunny 95 in Columbus, Ohio. www.sunny95.com Click here to listen to Nanny Justine (mp3)]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_on_the_radio.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_on_the_radio.php Media Thu, 27 Apr 2006 17:30:39 -0500 TV Footage Check out some footage from the show 'Good Company' in Cleveland, Ohio. wkyc.com/video/player.aspx?aid=15647&bw= (This video requires Windows Media Player)]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_on_good_company_in_cleveland_ohio.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/the_nannies_on_good_company_in_cleveland_ohio.php Media Thu, 27 Apr 2006 16:28:30 -0500 Roger Doeren - Rainy Day Books, Kansas City, MS "People read all sorts of books on subjects that interest them. Well, here's a book that I can recommend for people who are interested in raising functioning children. Consider this book an 'Operating Manual' for children. If you want to change the behavior of children, then I recommend that you start with changing your own behavior and set good examples. The root word of discipline is disciple, so read good books on how to become a good role model, and children will follow your example. We would be happy to sell you this book in a brown paper bag so that you can carry it home and nobody but you will be the wiser. Justine Walsh, Richard Gere's Nanny, and co-author of Nanny Wisdom: Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children--From Newborns to Preschoolers gave us an insightful presentation at Rainy Day Books on Wednesday, September 21, 2005, at 7:00 PM." Purchase Nanny Wisdom on Amazon.com]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_reviewed_by_rainy_day_books.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_reviewed_by_rainy_day_books.php Media Wed, 26 Apr 2006 16:37:31 -0500 Kirkus Reports "If you can't afford to hire Fran Fine to care for your little ones, get this entertaining and informative new book. Two true-blue British nannies have compiled everything they know about taking care of babies and tots. They encourage parents to establish a “regular routine and schedule.” The rhythms established in the first weeks and months of your baby’s life lay the foundation for sleeping, eating and play habits in the years to come. Routine is especially important when it comes to sleep—a child who takes regular naps throughout the day will actually sleep better at night. If napping doesn't do the trick, consider giving Junior a gold star each time he sleeps through the night. Healthy eating habits are also vital. Walsh and Nicholson include recipes for dishes that children and parents will both relish. The nannies offer plenty of practical advice, like how to give a bottle to a breastfed baby, and how to help a big sister or brother adjust to a new baby. But Walsh and Nicholson never lose sight of the simple basics. Above all, parents should be "loving, firm, and fun…every day." Mary Poppins couldn’t have put it better". Purchase Nanny Wisdom on Amazon.com]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_reviewed_by_kirkus.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/media/nanny_wisdom_reviewed_by_kirkus.php Media Wed, 26 Apr 2006 16:34:14 -0500 Crossover Time Question: I am a nanny to three children under six years and am very happy in my job. However, when my employers come home from work at night, my charges who have behaved well all day begin to act out in front of their parents. They whine, fight with each other and shout for treats and TV. My employers ask why the children are behaving in this way, and after a few minutes of these antics, one of my employers usually gives the children the sweets/TV they have been screaming for, even if dinner is just about to be served, or they have had their TV allowance for the day. I am at my wits end; please can you suggest what I can do to put an end to this stressful part of the day? Janice, London England Nannies Advice: The scenario you have described is a very common one, we call it “Crossover Time”, it’s the end of the day, the children are tired and they are claiming back their parents. The end of the day can be the perfect opportunity for a child to test her boundaries and play parent against nanny. We have a few suggestions for you. We recommend you have a chat with your employers (away from little ears) and explain how this part of the day is becoming very difficult for you. Try and come up with a plan together to make the end of the day less stressful. (We suggest parents spend some quality time with their children when they arrive home from work to lessen such attention seeking behaviors, we also suggest parents leave the answering machine, mail/post until later when the children are calm or are in bed). Once your employers realize the children are ‘acting out', it should become easier for them to stop giving in to the children’s demands. With just a few changes your charges should get through this phase more quickly and the end of the day (crossover time) should become more pleasant for everyone. Good Luck! Child having Tantrums in Public Places Question: My two year old often has a tantrum when I take him to the supermarket. What should I do? When people are staring and judging me, sometimes I give in and give him the sweets/toys he screams for just to keep the peace. Nicola, Ohio. Nannies Advice: First of all, it is important to know that it is not unusual for a two year old to be having tantrums, especially in such a stimulating environment like a supermarket. The bright lights and over abundance of goodies and toys can send even the most well behaved child into a meltdown. Here are a few tips to get through this tricky phase: 1. It is important to know your child’s limits so you can prevent public outbursts. When you take your son to the supermarket make sure he is not tired or hungry, when a child is tired or hungry he will be more likely to have a meltdown. 2. Never give in to a child’s tantrum, even if you are in a public place like a supermarket. Consistency is essential for effectively dealing with tantrums and if you change how you deal with a tantrum just because you are in a public place, (or you change how you deal with them on a daily basis) your son will continue to have tantrums each and every time he goes to the shops, and at other times. If you give in to your son's tantrums you are teaching him that throwing a tantrum is the best way to get exactly what he wants, from this approach your son is likely to continue having tantrums for many years, maybe even into his teen years. 3. If your son is having a tantrum in the supermarket, remove him from the situation; take him outside, take him home, or take him to a quiet place so he can calm down. Once your child is calm be sure to tell him that kind of behavior is not acceptable and tell him why you removed him from the store. Removing your son from the situation will send him a very powerful message, you will not put up with this kind of behavior. As time goes by this behavior should lessen and disappear if all tantrums are dealt with consistently. 4. Make shopping trips fun for your son. Keep him amused and engaged while he is in the supermarket, encourage him to help you choose produce. Ask him questions such as; “Do you know how to tell if a melon is ripe?” Try bringing a favorite toy along to keep him distracted, or try giving him a small box of raisins to eat, it can take up to half an hour for a young child to pick out raisins from the box. 5. Praise works wonders with children, so at the end of the shopping trip be sure to tell your son how proud you are of him for being such a good boy while in the store. Your son will want to please you the next time he goes to the shop with you and these tantrums/outbursts should soon come to an end in no time. Also, you can take him to the park for a treat after a shopping trip to reinforce how delighted you are that he has behaved well. Not Ready for Bed Question: I have trouble getting my 2 1/2 yr old daughter to bed at night, she takes a nap each afternoon from 3:00pm to 5pm, but she is not ready for bed until 10:30pm or 11pm, when I try to wake her for preschool in the morning she is very grouchy and difficult to deal with. How can I improve things? Andrea, NY Nannies Advice: It sounds like your daughter needs a more age appropriate schedule and bedtime. The reason your daughter is not ready for bed at night is because she is sleeping too late in the afternoon, she is difficult to wake in the morning because she is going to bed too late at night and is probably very overtired. Her daily nap should end by 3:15pm and she should be going to bed at night between 7:15-7:30pm each night. What you will need to do is move everything in her schedule earlier. It will take a few weeks to change and adjust her schedule and to make these schedule changes you will need to be 100% consistent and committed. Each day; adjust her nap and bedtime 15-20 minutes earlier; continue to do this until she is on a more age appropriate schedule like the one we have described. Bedtimes and mornings will become easier once you have made these changes, and your daughter will be a more contented and well rested child. A well rested child is more able to cope with the emotional and physical development they are going through. More Q and A coming soon...... Disclaimer: All advice on nanny-wisdom.com is not intended to replace medical advice, if you are concerned about your child's health or well-being please consult your pediatrician. ]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_questions_and_answers/questions_from_parents_and_nannies.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_questions_and_answers/questions_from_parents_and_nannies.php Nanny Wisdom Questions and Answers Sat, 25 Mar 2006 23:58:23 -0500 Nanny Wisdom Newsletter Edition One - January 2006 Welcome to the very first edition of our bi-monthly Nanny Wisdom Newsletter! We are both thrilled by the wonderful response our book, "Nanny Wisdom - Our Secrets for Raising Healthy, Happy Children" has received. While on our U.S book tour in September and October of last year we had the pleasure of meeting many parents, nannies, teachers and children. We’d like to give a huge thank you to everyone who came to the book signings and events. On tour we were asked for child care advice on a whole range of issues. However, there was one issue that just kept coming up over and over at our book signings, radio and TV interviews and at our Nanny Wisdom Workshops and that issue was ‘Potty Training’. These are the top three potty training questions we were asked: 1. What is the right age to begin potty training? 2. How do you successfully potty train a child? 3. What do you do if potty training is not progressing? This first edition of our newsletter will answer these questions and more. We will explain step by step how to make sure potty training is as easy and as stress free as possible, and we will tell you how to avoid the most common mistakes that can cause kids and parents problems. When the Nanny Wisdom Potty Training method is followed consistently, most children get the hang of potty training within 14 days. The Nanny Wisdom Potty Training Method in 10 Simple Steps 1. Begin at the right time - Is your child ready? Girls are often ready to potty train a little earlier than boys, we like to begin potty training girls around the age of two years give or take a month or two either side of the second birthday. We usually start potty training boys somewhere between two and two and a half years. We do not believe in starting younger than two years as a child needs to be mature enough to understand the concept of potty training, otherwise he/she will not be able to make progress and move through all the stages of training potty training with ease. When potty training begins when a child is too young, or when a child is not ready to potty train it may take a long time for a child to completely master it. However, we also advise parents not to wait too long to start potty training as a late start may result in missing the window of opportunity and the older child is more likely to reject potty training, or not progress quickly like he should. Therefore, we really do suggest making a start at potty training well before a child’s third birthday. There are a few indicators to look out for that can help determine if a child is ready for potty training. One indicator is when a child becomes aware of when he is soiling his diaper. The other is when a child announces when he is soiling his diaper and wants to be changed immediately. When a child has become aware of his body functions and is uncomfortable when his diaper is soiled it really can be the perfect time to begin potty training (if the child is also at the right age). Are you ready? The secret to successful potty training is to ‘Start as You Mean to Go On’. By this we mean it is necessary to be 100% consistent, patient and committed when potty training a child. We encourage parents to begin potty training when they have time available to really devote to it. For example; if a family have just moved house, a new baby is born, or a child has just started school it is a good idea to wait for a calmer time to begin potty training. 2. Prepare for Potty Training A few weeks before potty training begins, start to notice when the child regularly urinates and poops. This will really help once potty training begins. Take note if Stephen usually poops 30 minutes after lunch each day? Or, If Stephen’s diaper is usually very wet in the morning 30 minutes after breakfast? Some children even pull a funny face when they are urinating or pooping, if a child is showing these kinds of signs, then now would be a good time to talk to the child about these body functions. Ask the child, “Are you pooping now? Are you peeing?” (Or whichever words you choose to use), these questions really do help a child become aware of his own bodily functions. Start mentioning to the child when you yourself have to use the bathroom. Say to the child, “Wait just a minute, Mommy is going to use the bathroom now”. Chances are the child has been in the bathroom with a parent before, so do continue to bring the child into the bathroom and show her what happens in there so it’s not a complete mystery to him. Before serious potty training begins we like to encourage a child to sit on a potty or on the toilet for a few minutes each day. He can look at a story or have a chat to you while he is sitting there. The perfect times to get into the habit of doing this are before a bath and each morning before getting dressed. When it is warm outside a child can run around in the garden without a diaper which will help him be more aware of when he is urinating or pooping, and then he can be taken to the bathroom or potty when he needs to use it. If a child is always in a diaper he won’t have experienced or learnt the concept of being without one and know what happens when he is not wearing a diaper. 3. No Pull-Ups! We have found that many potty training problems are caused by the use of pull-ups. A pull-up is really no different from a diaper, and when a child is wearing a pull-up he does not progress through the stages of toilet training as quickly as he should, therefore potty training can become a long drawn out process. A child who is potty training needs to understand that when he is awake he should urinate or poop in a potty or a toilet. Pull-ups remove this important step, when a child is wearing pull-ups he will continue to urinate or poop in the pull-up as he did when he was wearing a diaper. Also, when a child is wearing pull-ups during potty training it can be a subtle way to communicate to the child that there is anxiety about accidents happening. Make the leap and use underwear instead of pull-ups, and feel confident about this new milestone. It is much better to be positive and believe a child can get the hang of potty training, because they can and they will. 4. Get the right equipment - Potty and Toilet Training Seats We recommend getting a child used to using both a potty and a toilet. We have both cared for children who have only ever used a potty and when the time comes to transition the child to the big toilet it can be very difficult. Quite naturally the child wants to continue using the potty that he is already familiar with and can become anxious about using a big toilet. A big toilet can seem rather large and overwhelming to a small child, so it is a good idea to buy a child’s training toilet seat that fits on a big toilet so the child feels comfortable. In the beginning you can bring a regular or portable fold-up potty along with you outside the house. A potty is ideal when a public toilet cannot be found easily, or the potty can be used inside a public bathroom. It is always a good idea to get to know where the clean accessible toilets are in your neighborhood. Bathrooms in hotels, restaurants, shopping malls and department stores are usually clean and child friendly. 5. Make a Positive Start Underwear The first step is to buy the child big girl/boy underwear, maybe even buy underwear with the child’s favorite character on it, for example Cinderella or Superman underwear. Buy plenty of underwear, (in the first few days there will be many changes). Make a big fuss out of the new underwear, and help the child to put it on. A child is usually very excited to wear the new big boy/girl underwear and this often encourages a child to want to use the potty/toilet more. Big Boy/Girl Status Put diapers away in the cupboard and only bring them out at nap time and bedtime. Tell the child “You are not a baby anymore; you are a big girl/boy, now you will only wear diapers at bedtime”. Or, “I’m so excited you can use the bathroom like Mommy/Daddy and your older brother/sister”. Comments like these will encourage a child to be happy and confident about using the potty or toilet. 6. Timing is the key to success Have the child sit on the potty and toilet at regular intervals throughout the day. In the beginning we recommend a bathroom visit every 20-30 minutes for child that drinks a lot, and every 30-40 minutes for a child that doesn’t drink so much. (Each child will be slightly different so it is important to get to know your own child’s habits). As the days go by, the length of time can be extended between each bathroom visit as the child gains more control and can ‘hold on’ for longer periods of time. Try using a kitchen timer to announce to the child when it is time to use the potty/toilet, this can make the whole process a little more fun and also helps parents stay more aware of the timing for bathroom visits. 7. Stay Close to a Bathroom or Potty for the first 3-4 days Keep the potty close by or stay near a bathroom for the first few days. Encourage the child to sit on the potty/toilet for a few minutes at each visit. If a child sits on the potty or toilet frequently and for a few minutes each time is he more likely to have his first success and after that first success you are off and running! Often the first potty success happens by accident when the child is not aware of what is actually happening. For example he may be distracted by looking at a book. Do keep in mind that it can take quite a few visits to the potty/toilet before a child has his first success. Once the child has had his first breakthrough on the potty/toilet, show him what he has done and praise him. Say to the child, “Well done! You have peed or pooped in the potty/toilet”. “You really are a big boy now, you did it!” Try calling Grandma or Mom/Dad the first few times so the child can announce his successes, this will make the child feel really good about the whole experience. Ask the child to help flush the toilet afterwards; this will also make the new big boy/girl status much more exciting. Be sure to teach your child about bathroom hygiene and importance of washing hands after going to the bathroom. 8. Encourage success with the Special Sticker Technique A special sticker is a simple and effective reward to give a child when he uses the bathroom. If the child likes Thomas the Tank Engine or Dora the Explorer purchase some stickers with these characters on them and use these as special potty training stickers. After each successful visit to the potty/toilet, go ahead and give the child a sticker on her hand and be sure to tell the child why she has received the sticker. Each time the child pees or poops in the potty/toilet tell her she will receive one sticker (one only). Keep these special stickers just for potty successes. We do not advocate using candy or toys as a reward for potty/toilet successes. When rewards like this are used a child can easily cling onto this game, it takes away the focus of potty training and progression is often delayed. Also, the child expects a toy or candy every time he uses the bathroom, which can become a very complicated and expensive business. In Nanny Wisdom we encourage the use of Star Charts for motivating children to change certain behaviors. However, we do not recommend using a star chart when beginning potty training, it just isn’t necessary and complicates what should be a very straightforward process. We only use a star chart when a child is having issues with potty training and is not progressing. For example, we would recommend using a star chart when a child refuses to poop in the potty or toilet. Or, when an older child is still having accidents and is not completely dry during the day. Another situation when a star chart can be effective is when a child relapses and accidents start to happen after a child has been potty trained for a while. 9. Accidents - Will Happen We remind parents that there are going to be accidents when potty training a child, accidents are all part of the learning process and not something to feel angry, disappointed or upset about. When accidents do happen, do not become emotional, be very matter of fact about the accident. Simply say to the child, “Next time when you need to use the potty, just ask me and I will take you” or “Next time I know you will use the potty, I know you can do it”. If emotions are brought into the picture, a child will easily pick up on anxiety, frustration or anger, and nothing is more likely to encourage further accidents and problems in the future. Encourage the child to help with clean up so he is involved in process and is aware of what is happening. By being consistent and encouraging frequent bathroom visits, accidents should soon stop happening altogether. We sometimes hear from parents that are worried about their child having accidents on the furniture, on the carpet, or in the car. These concerned parents tend to revert back to putting diapers and pull-ups back on a child for short periods of time while potty training is in progress. As frustrating or challenging as potty training may be, we cannot emphasize enough the importance of a child being diaper/pull-up free (while awake) during potty training. At some point or another every parent will want to save their furniture, child’s clothes, or even their sanity. We can assure you, from our past experiences that putting a diaper or pull-up back on a child during potty training will back track all progress and bring you right back to ‘Day 1’ again. A child needs to make the leap to being diaper free, even if it means a few accidents along the way. A useful tip for cleaning up accidents is to pour a little soda water or seltzer on the carpet, cushion or rug and use a paper towel to soak up the liquid. This should prevent stains and smells. 10. Moving Right Along Effective communication is essential for successful potty training -especially in the early days. It can make all the difference in how swiftly a child progresses. We recommend stating very clearly to a child when it is time to use the bathroom without begging or pleading. Promises of candy or gifts are not necessary or required for visits to the bathroom. We do not recommend starting down this road. Here are some examples of effective communication. Try a statement like. “Maggie, it is time to use the bathroom now, let’s go”. Once the child has actually visited or used the bathroom, you can praise her good efforts by saying like the following. ”Well done, I am very happy that you came in to the bathroom and made an effort to use the potty/toilet, good job”. Here are some examples of ineffective ways to communicate to a child in this situation. “Darling would you like to use the bathroom now?” or “Please can you sit on the potty for Daddy, just this once. I’ll give you a treat if you do?” Both of these examples assure a “No” from a child and future negotiations are likely. Always insist a child uses the bathroom before they leave the house, do not make it a choice or an option. If a child is refusing to use the bathroom before going outside the home, insist that she has a quick try. Say to her “We always use the bathroom before we go outside, so there aren’t any accidents. Come on, I will go with you”. Make this a daily habit and soon enough bathroom visits will be less likely to be rejected. Common Potty Training Problems Rejection of bathroom visits During the first few days of potty training children are often very happy to sit on the potty/toilet. A child often thinks it is a fun game in the beginning. However, the potty game can quickly become boring to a child and she now may begin to reject sitting on the potty/toilet. If this happens or has happened to people reading this newsletter, do not worry. It is very common for a child to reject using the potty/toilet at one time or another. It can be the perfect opportunity for a child to state his independence, when a child says “No” it pretty much guarantees an emotional reaction from a parent or child care giver. Therefore, we do not recommend reacting emotionally to these bathroom rejections. If this does happen stick to the plan of taking the child to the bathroom regularly and do not take the rejections seriously. Introduce visits to the bathroom into the child’s daily routine, for example take the child to the bathroom after breakfast, before a nap, before you leave the house etc… And remember, always use a clear assertive and positive voice when announcing it is time to use the bathroom and rejections should soon pass. Child has not or will not poop in potty/toilet Bowel movements can be the trickiest and most challenging stage of potty training for a child. It usually takes just two or three successes for a child to be comfortable with the new experience of pooping in a potty/toilet. Make a note to see if the child’s bowel movements are at regular times. If the child usually has a bowel movement after dinner, put him on the potty/toilet around this time everyday. This is a good habit to get in to, as the child will be less likely to reject going to the bathroom if it part of his regular daily routine. If a child is suffering from constipation or is holding onto poops it may be that pooping is painful for him (this can be quite common). Make sure the child is well hydrated and eats plenty of fruit and vegetables each day; this will help to regulate bowel movements and make it easier for him to poop. When a child absolutely refuses to poop without a diaper a star chart can be very effective in turning this situation around. And keep in mind that when using a star chart to turn around situations consistency is crucial to success. Child is potty trained - But having lots of accidents When a child is having lots of accidents, it is usually because she is waiting too long to use the bathroom. Or, she may be so involved in playing that she forgets, or is just too distracted to use the bathroom. You will need to help your child by reminding him constantly to use the bathroom. Remember to use our effective communication method; don’t ask a child if she needs to use the bathroom, simply use a clear assertive voice and tell her it is time to go. For children that become very involved in play, using a timer and setting it every 30-45 minutes can work very well to signal bathroom visits. Nanny Wisdom - Nights and Naps There is no big rush for kids to be dry at night and we not recommend starting this final stage of potty training until basic potty training is well established. The age for staying dry while asleep does vary a lot, some kids are ready at 3yrs, some at 4yrs, some not till 5yrs of age. When a child is still wearing a diaper through the night at 5yrs he is very used to wearing a diaper while asleep and may need a little more encouragement to be without one while sleeping. Always start by removing diapers at nap time. When you notice that a child’s diaper is dry after a nap on a regular basis, it can be the perfect time to remove diapers during naps. Always insist a child uses the bathroom before he goes to sleep for a nap and at bedtime. When starting to work on night time dryness, drinks before bed need to be cut right back, do not give a child a drink at least 45 minutes to an 1hr before sleep. With some children, drinks need to be stopped up to 2hrs before sleep. For children that are used to drinking a lot before bed this rule will need to be explained to the child. Children do not take long to accept this new rule and soon become used to drinks being restricted at bedtime. Children who are unable to fall asleep at night without drinking from bottles or sippy cups will need to learn how to fall asleep without these sleep aids before you attempt to take away diapers at night. Strategies for teaching a child to fall asleep independently are detailed in our book, "Nanny Wisdom". Some children seem to have a harder time holding on all night long and may wake up after wetting the bed. For these children, we suggest gently waking them at 11 or 12 p.m. before a parent turns in for the night, and having them use the potty or toilet then. Talk to the child about staying dry through the night and discuss how he can wake up to use the bathroom by himself. Keep the light on in the bathroom at night, and maybe in the hallway if needed, so the child is not afraid to walk to the bathroom during the night. Encouraging a child to use the bathroom by himself during the night can also prevent nighttime visits to parents’ rooms. There are some children that are able to stay dry all night but actually wet the bed early in the morning. With these children we set an alarm clock to go off about 30 minutes before they usually wake up. We explain to the child that they need to get up and use the bathroom when the alarm sounds. A star chart can work very well to encourage children to stay dry through the night. Nanny Wisdom Quick Top Tips for Successful Potty Training • Once potty training begins, a child should only wear a diaper when he is sleeping; the only exception is for long car/plane journeys at the very beginning of potty training. • Staying close to home for the first few days can be really helpful as a child is comfortable in his own home, and a bathroom and spare clothes are always close by. • For working parents, we suggest beginning potty training on the weekend and again staying close to home. If staying close is not possible - take a portable potty, regular potty or toilet trainer seat to use when away from the home. • Be prepared for accidents, they will happen and remember accidents are how a child learns. • NEVER become emotional when accidents happen. • Do not punish, or give time outs when accidents happen. • A child cannot learn anything from inconsistency. Do not switch between putting a child in underwear one day and a diaper the next day. • If a child has many accidents today or yesterday, DO NOT put the child back in a diaper during the day. This will create setbacks, confuse the child and prevent progression. (The only exception is when potty training has completely stopped because a child is clearly not ready to be potty trained). • If a child is deliberately having accidents, do not become emotional in front of the child. Ask her to help with clean up. Do not over analyze the situation, sometimes children do things like this when they are acting out in front of a parent, or trying to get attention. Using a timer for bathroom visits in this situation works extremely well. Also, constant reminding will help the situation. • A child should always be well hydrated. However, during potty training excessive liquids will encourage more accidents. For children that are big water, juice, or milk drinkers we suggest slightly cutting back on drinks when starting to potty train. • It is extremely important that everyone who cares for the child is on the same page, i.e. partner, babysitter, and school teacher must all know that potty training has begun and each person needs to continue on in exactly the same way. Here’s one example of how important it is for everyone to follow the same plan when potty training a child. Two and half year old Joe is almost potty trained and never wears a diaper during the day. Joe’s Dad is worried about little Joe having an accident when he takes him to the park, therefore Dad decides to put a diaper on Joe for their trip to the park. Wearing a diaper has confused Joe and he goes on to have several accidents over the next week. Inconsistency like this can easily interfere with potty training progress. Other Nanny Wisdom News We are launching a Nanny Wisdom Parent and Nanny Club on the website in February/March 06. It will be a monthly membership club for parents and nannies, a place for parents and other nannies to write to us with their childcare questions. Members will receive personal answers from Justine and Kim. Please email us if you are interested in joining the Nanny Wisdom Parent and Nanny Club. We have just finished filming with FOX 5 TV where we filmed a segment with a wonderful family of six. The segment will be airing sometime this month. We will keep you posted to let you know the air date. Kim is Nanny 95 for KS95 in Minnesota every week. Kim answers parents and nannies childcare questions. You can listen in every Monday at 7:10am CST or 8:10am EST. The radio station’s website is: www.ks95.com once on the website open the windows media player to hear Kim live on the show each week. Justine and Kim have been invited to the Women’s Expo in Minnesota on January 27th, 28th, 29th. We will be holding a question and answer session and signing books each day. Please come along to meet us for a chat. Check out the Expo’s website for more details. www.mplswomensexpo.com. We will be promoting the Women’s Expo on KS95 on Friday 27th January – we will keep you posted what time we will be on the air that day. From February we are both going to be Club Mom experts, www.clubmom.com (Watch this space for more details). We are both delighted to have received many invitations to appear around the country at several events and workshops this year. We are holding one of many Nanny Wisdom Workshops at the Education Alliance Preschool in New York City on February 8th at 7pm. To reserve a seat for this event, please email Carol Osher at the following email address. Carol_Osher@edialliance.org Finally, we are proud to announce the release of Nanny Wisdom in the UK. The official release date is April 28th 06. (Watch this space for more details). Please feel free to forward this newsletter on to other parents, friends and nannies. The March newsletter will discuss how to effectively communicate with a child, giving you our top strategies and tips. You can sign up for the monthly Nanny Wisdom Newsletters at www.nanny-wisdom.com Happy New Year! Justine and Kim Copyright 2006 Justine Walsh and Kim Nicholson http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_newsletter/nanny_wisdom_newsletter_january_06.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_newsletter/nanny_wisdom_newsletter_january_06.php Nanny Wisdom Newsletter Fri, 13 Jan 2006 11:08:26 -0500 http://www.pollywogkids.com Great toddler and preschooler reward charts http://www.morrck.com Organic Baby Hoodie's for travel with baby in the car or stroller/pushchair. www.nannyagencylondon.co.uk Nanny agency London is a proud member of Royal Recruitment, the largest domestic recruitment agency in London providing nannies in UK and overseas. www.nannycredential.org This is a fabulous support group for nannies nationwide. www.mybabyradio.com This is a live UK internet radio station exclusively for new parents and their babies. With interviews from Midwives, GPs, Health Visitors, Celebrity Parents, REAL MUMS & DADS including specialist shows, competitions and great music! http://www.nannyalliancenyandnj.com The Nanny Alliance of New York and New Jersey is a fantastic website and support group founded by nannies for nannies. http://www.4nanny.com Great website and resource for both nannies and parents. http://www.nanniesinlondon.com Nannies in London is a Nanny Agency that offers a bespoke Nanny service to families in the greater London area. Our aim is to take the weight of parents’ shoulders by providing a quality, streamlined & professional service matching our clients with their ideal Nanny, mothers help or Maternity Nurse. www.clubmom.com ClubMom is the National Membership Organization for Moms -- providing valuable shopping rewards programs, content for Moms and a great online community. www.contentedbaby.com Respected Maternity nurse Gina Ford's website gives parents sound advice with her books and website.]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/useful_links/links.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/useful_links/links.php Useful Links Sat, 29 Oct 2005 02:57:34 -0500 Latest News for 2007 Big into Baby Show On March 24th and 25th we are going to be speaking at the Big Into Baby show in Belfast, Northern Ireland. We will be holding a question and answer session for parents twice a day and we really look forward to meeting families that will be attending. We are happy to answer questions on routines, diet, behaviour, routines, communication and much much more. We will be signing books at the event so come along and chat with us and please don't be shy to ask us questions while we are stage and at the book signings. Check out the show's website by clicking on the link below. Big into Baby The London Baby Show We are very excited to be speaking at the London Baby Show on October 20th and 21st. We are scheduled to speak at 1:30pm both days, the topic for our talk will be: How to be loving, firm and fun with your children every day. After the talk there will be a Question and Answer session and we will be signing books at the Waterstones book stand Friday 20th, Saturday 21st and Sunday 22nd. The essential event for bumps, babies, parents and toddlers! Ever wished that babies came with a manual?! The Baby Show is a three day event, taking place 20-22 October 2006, at London’s Earls Court where you can find everything you need. The Show is dedicated to pregnancy and childcare – with expert advice, the chance to make huge savings on all the nursery essentials you need as well as plenty to keep your baby or toddler amused. Here are some photos from a Nanny Wisdom Workshop held at: Sam and Seb (the fabulous kids clothing store) in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The topic for the workshop that day was feeding children. We answered questions about weaning babies onto solid food, fussy toddlers, junk food diets and how to prepare quick, healthy family meals. Justine getting a few giggles out of Jake. Kim tickling Jake! Jake and Lily play with some toys while their parents learn some Nanny Wisdom. Photo Credit: Tracey Nicholson]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_workshops/nanny_wisdom_workshops.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdom_workshops/nanny_wisdom_workshops.php Nanny Wisdom Workshops Sun, 16 Oct 2005 01:48:07 -0500 After weaning dozens of babies, I discovered that they often prefer sweet fruit purees to vegetable purees. This seems especially true for breast-fed babies, because breast milk is naturally sweet. When I was a novice nanny weaning a baby girl for the first time, I offered her mostly fresh fruit purees, as that was what she obviously preferred. I soon realized she wasn’t eating a wide variety of foods and I wished that I had introduced her to foods with a sharper taste first. Since then, all the babies I have weaned have begun their diets with foods like green beans, broccoli, zucchini, turnips, and potatoes. I only add the sweeter vegetables like squash and carrots and then the fruit purees to the diet once the baby has accepted the savory foods and developed a taste for them. My "savory-foods-first" rule ensures that a baby will like more than sweet foods; she’ll like a variety of foods, and her diet will be well balanced. - Excerpt from Nanny Wisdom - Chapter Two, Babies - the First Year of Life - Start As you Mean to Go on.]]> http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdoms/savory_foods_first.php http://www.nanny-wisdom.com/nanny_wisdoms/savory_foods_first.php Nanny Wisdoms Fri, 22 Jul 2005 00:36:44 -0500